


Can somebody save me

by FrancesVoorhees



Series: Maledictionem Vitae [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Guilt, Jealousy, Mark of Cain, Other, Rape, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Smut, Triggers, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-04-25 07:12:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4951330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrancesVoorhees/pseuds/FrancesVoorhees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader is a hunter who became an addict due to the hunting life. She is saved by the Winchesters in many ways until bad things start to happen again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How did you find me?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first longer Fan-Fic and also the first I am publishing. English is not my native Language and I don´t have a beta, so please don´t be to harsh ;)  
> Comments and suggestions are welcome.  
> More chapters will follow.  
> I do not own any of the characters except the ones I invented.  
> I also take requests for stories or one-shots ;)

She sat at the bar just like every night and tried to drink herself into oblivion. Every day it got harder to reach the state of oblivion, of forgetting how shitty her life was. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it with her silver zippo – a gift from her ex-boyfriend. Her last boyfriend...that was seven years ago. She was single since then and plus – she had no friends. Not one single person cared for her...not a single person cared about her feelings, her depressions and her life. „At least I stopped cutting myself“ she thought bitterly. That was the only thing she could be proud of. Nothing more than this one single thing. Otherwise she was drinking heavily, smoking like a train and popping pills to sleep at least 4 hours per night. But she knew, that this won´t be enough for long. She needed more to forget. The booze wasn´t helping anymore. She already looked like shit – pale, dark bags under her eyes, skinny body... But she didn´t care coz – when no one else cared, why should she care? Life as a hunter wasn´t easy. Besides the fact that you´re constantly in danger of losing your life, the people you love are getting killed.

She ordered her god knows what shot and downed it in one gulp. Her eyes were drifting to the side of the bar. There was a tall man and he handed another guy a small package. She instantly knew what it was. She instantly knew, she needed to follow that guy and talk to him. She paid her drinks and followed the tall guy outside. The man went straight to an abandoned warehouse not far from the bar and disappeared inside. She followed him inside the building. He was gone. She shook her head desperately and just as she tried to leave the building, the guy grabbed her arm and growled „ What the fuck are you doing here? You´re a fucking cop?“ „No!“ she wimpered „I....I....“ „You WHAT? Talk or I forget myself“. He was angry – very angry. „I...wanted to talk to you. I saw you at the bar...I saw that you sold something to the other guy...“ „And? That´s none of your business!“ „I want to buy something as well...I want to buy some smack.“ There it was. She said it. She just told the stranger – the dealer – that she wanted to buy a lethal drug. „Oh...why didn´t you say that right away? I nearly hurt you.“ He let go of her arm and looked at her closely. „You never done smack before, have you?“ She shook her head. „No...“ He looked at her not understanding why she was asking him for smack when she wasn´t a junkie. „Why do you want to start with it now then?“ „Coz the booze isn´t working anymore and I need something stronger to forget.“ She just said as it was. „oh...alright. Sorry, I just thought you were a fucking cop. Come with me then.“ The Dealer led her into a dark room with some other people in there. All of them were clearly Junkies, preparing their fix. „Do you know how to do a fix?“ he asked her. „Yeah, I used to work as a nurse. So I´m pretty sure I know how to use a syringe.“ That was all she said. He gave her a nod. „Alright then. Let me just show you how to prepare a fix.“ The guy pulled out a syringe, a spoon, a lighter and the Heroin. He prepared her first fix ever. There´s no going back now, she thought bitterly. ´RUN as long as you have the chance.´ Her inner voice shouted at her. She shook her head slightly and turned her view to the dealer again. He had her shot prepared. „There you go“, he said. She took the syringe and her belt. She wrapped it around her arm for the veins to come out. She pushed the needle inside her arm and pulled the plunger. Then everything went foggy and blurry....she finally reached oblivion again..

 

„Dean!“ Sam called after his brother who ran outside the bar all of a sudden. Sam followed his older brother outside. „Dean, what is it? What´s wrong?“ Dean stood in the dark and turned his head to both sides, looking for something. „Did you see that girl?“ Sam gave him a questioning look. „What girl?“ „The girl that went outside with this scumbag of drug dealer.“ „No, Dean. Why are you asking?“ Dean turned his head towards his brother and gave him a hard look. „Because she wasn´t a junkie. And I´m pretty sure that she is about to do something real stupid and dangerous.“ „What do you mean Dean?“ „Sammy, I´m afraid she is going to use drugs. She seemed pretty upset and lost. I know that look. I´ve been there. Come on, Sammy, we gotta find her.“ Dean ran towards the abandoned factory. But by the time they got inside, there was nobody to be found. It was empty.

She woke up in the bed of the cheap motel she was staying at. She couldn´t remember how she got back to her motel room. Last thing she remembered was the fact that she was at a bar like every evening, getting drunk. And that she followed some guy into an abandoned factory for...oh god... The memory came back slowly. Her eyes focused on her left armpit. There it was. The tiny sting. She really did it...she really did Smack. She was shocked by her actions but there was something else she remembered...the fact that she really enjoyed her first fix. ´I really wanna do it again´. She pulled out her mobile phone and called the dealer. This was the beginning of the end....

 

4 months later....

 

Dean saw her again. She was standing outside the cheap motel he and Sam were staying at for the time of their new case. She was shivering and looked pale, skinny – just sick. He went to Sam and told him about seeing her again. „We need to help her.“ „How do you know that she needs help? Maybe you´re imagining things you wanna see coz you got a crush on her since you first saw her at the bar.“ „Sam, please – just trust me on this one. I´ve got a strange feeling in my guts. Something definitely tells me that something is wrong.“ Dean looked at Sam with the Puppy-Dog Eyes that Sam was famous for. „Uff...ok Dean...let´s go talk to her. But promise me that you won´t force her to anything, ok?“ „Promised Sammy.“ Sam let out a sigh, truly not believing his brother´s promise. They walked towards her. When they reached her, Dean gave her his sweetest smile. „Hey there. I´m Dean and this is my brother Sam.“ She gave them a dark look. „I don´t do brothers. Leave me alone. I´m sure you´ll find a girl nearby who does brothers.“ Sam and Dean looked shocked at each other. „What??? No, that´s not what we´re here for! We just wanna talk to you, that´s all.“ She smirked. „What about? I don´t even know you.“ „Well..“ Dean said „how about you tell us your name for a start?“ These two guys were strange, she thought. They didn´t know her at all as well as she didn´t know them, but Dean seemed to see that something wasn´t quite right about her. She knew somehow, that she could trust these two. So she started telling them her story. After she finished, she saw a sad look on both of their faces. And the simple sentence of Dean „You´re coming with us and stay with us.“


	2. Life is good, isn´t it?

It has been one year since the Winchesters took her with them to their home, the bunker, and helped her overcome her Heroin Addiction. Now she was clean and a better hunter. Dean and Sam taught her everything she didn´t know yet about hunting, monsters and fighting. After this year, she became a kick-ass hunter of whom even the Winchesters were impressed of. She sat on her bed, listening to music from her ipod. Dean was standing in the door frame, watching her. A sad smile crossed his face. How he wanted to touch and kiss her. She still hasn´t seen him standing in her room. She was deep into her music. Dean slowly moved towards her. „Y/N“, he said her name. She slightly flinched and turned her head to Dean. „God, Dean! You scared the living hell out of me!“ „I´m sorry. But I got us a new case. Just wanted to tell you that we´re leaving in 15.“ He smiled at her. „What case?“ „Some guys seemed to suddenly burst into flames. No trace of the monster that did it. So, we´re heading to a town not far from here.“ Her heart skipped a beat as Dean took her into his strong arms and gave her a hug. She had a thing for the older Winchester since she moved into the bunker, since Dean helped her to detox. But she would never tell him. She was sure, he didn´t have the same feelings for her. „Ok, let me grab my bag and some stuff I need. Meet you at Baby“, there was a shy smile on her face. Dean left her room and she started to pack her bag with the essentiell supplies every hunter needs. It was a short drive to the location of the incident. He parked the car on the parking lot of the motel they planned on staying at. Dean opened the door of the impala and got out. She was still asleep on the backseat. Dean studied her closely. How peaceful she looked when she was asleep. He shook his head and tried not to think about her too much. He was a danger to her...with this Mark on his arm, he couldn´t risk getting her involved too much with him. Dean saw Y/N smiling in her sleep. He wondered was she was dreaming about. Dean wanted to touch her so badly...comfort her...love her...secure her..but he couldn´t. He could never forgive himself if he would hurt her because of the mark...because he may not be able to control himself. „No..I can´t take that risk. It´s way too dangerous for her to even be around me.“ Dean thought sadly. „Such dark thoughts squirrel. You can´t know if you don´t try.“ That was Crowleys voice. „Or maybe I should take my chances with her. She looks like she needs a real man, not some whining dork.“ Dean turned around to face Crowley. „You son of a bitch! Shut your mouth, you won´t touch her!“ „I´m afraid that´s not up to you.“ the King of Hell smiled devilishly at Dean and disappeared. „Son of a...“. Dean turned to the Impala and saw that Y/N was standing outside the car, looking confused. „What the hell was that all about??“ she asked angrily. Dean shrugged. „Don´t know...just the usual shit of the King of douchebags, I think.“ „Yeah, sure. I heard the conversation Dean. What did Crowley mean by he should take his chances with me?“ Y/N looked him deep in the eyes. „Answer me Dean!“ „I...I don´t.. I don´t know Y/N. I swear.“ „Don´t fuck with me sweetheart. You know the answer damn well. I´m sick of the constant lying and avoiding me.“ Dean got real angry. „Fucking Junkies...always think the world turns around them.“ Y/N gave him a shocked and hurt look. „Oh god...Y/N...I´m sorry! I didn´t mean to say that.“ She turned around and left for the reception of the motel. Dean was worried that she might leave right now and hated himself for what he just said. But as he saw that the she came back with the keys to the motel room, he was relieved. „Here. I got myself an extra room so you can think about what you just said to me.“ Y/N handed him the key and went straight into her own room. „Who the fuck does he think he is? Saying these horrible things... Lying straight into my face all the time...“ Y/N sat down on the bed and frowned. „Why are these two always lying to me? Why does Dean keep hurting me?“ Tears began to stream down her face. „No! I won´t cry because of them.“ She stood up and left the motel room, heading for the nearest bar. She thought about all the hiding and lying of Sam and Dean. They never fully trusted her after she got clean. She wasn´t allowed to take pain meds stronger than Aspirin when she got hurt during a hunt. She wasn´t allowed to take a drink, not even a beer. „Screw them“ she thought and planned on getting drunk tonight. She ordered a beer and a scotch and downed both in one. „Hello darling.“ Crowley sat next to her. Y/N looked into his brown eyes. „Hey Crowley.“ „What´s bothering you, sweetheart? One of the Winchester boys?“ He softly touched her cheek with his hand. „Both of them...all the time. Treating me like a baby.“ „Why is that?“ Crowley asked her with a comforting smile. Y/N didn´t know if she could trust the King of Hell enough to tell him her life story. But on the other hand, she really needed to talk about it with someone else than the Winchester brothers. Someone who wouldn´t judge her for her mistakes. So she started telling Crowley everything from the beginning....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one´s a little shorter and came up real late. But I will make it up ;)  
> I just updated the second chapter a bit


	3. Upside down

The case was solved real quick and so Dean and Y/N headed back home in silence. She never told him, what she did at the bar and Dean left her alone, not wanting to say something wrong again. They arrived at the bunker and headed inside where Sam was already waiting for them. „How did it go?“ he asked. „Peachy“ said Y/N and went right to her room, not looking at Sam or Dean. „What´s wrong Dean? Did something happen I should know about?“ „Nothing Sam, we had a little argument and then she got herself a single room. The only time she spoke with me was on our way back when she wanted me to stop at a grocerie store.“...... Y/N stood in front of her mirror and checked herself from head to foot. Wearing her pyjama shorts and her favourite band shirt, she shook her head, grabbed the grocerie bag and entered her bathroom. She unpacked the bag and put everything she needed on the sink. Comb, shampoo and hair dye. „Should I really dye my hair?“ she asked her reflection in the mirror. „Ah...bloody hell...I need a change.“ One hour later, she stood in front of her mirror again, looking at her new hair colour. Black. „Nice. Like a corpse or a member of the Addams Family.“ she thought. She grabbed her bagpack and went to bed. As she was lying on her comfy, warm and fluffy sheets, her thoughts started to drift away to her past. When she was...kinda free...when she was on drugs and no one could hurt her or her feelings. Just like Dean did. How he must hate her for her past. And Sam...well Sam was treating her like a child. Thinking she was not trustworthy. The only person...well sort of...who didn´t judge her, was Crowley. Not that is was surprising, he was a demon after all and did horrible things himself. Y/N decided trying to get some sleep after the latest events. „Come on Dean, just tell me already.“ Sam sat across the table in the kitchen and was facing his older brother. He could tell that Dean was hiding something. But his big brother was stubborn, as always. „There´s nothing to tell really. Sam, it was just a...harmless argument the two of us had. No big deal.“ Dean was at his fifth beer already. „Yeah, sure...“ Sam shook his head. „There´s nothing wrong with Y/N. It was completely normal, the way she did not look at us or talk to us. When she went straight to her room and that she did not come out yet although you two are back for 3 hours already.“ He gave Dean a ´no shit Sherlock´look. „Oh fuck off Sam!“ Dean shouted angrily. „I don´t need this shit from you. I made a mistake, ok? I know it. And now Y/N is pissed at me!“ „God Dean...what did you do?“ Dean couldn´t look his brother in the eyes. „I...I called her... a fucking Junkie...“ „WHAT??? Are you completely out of your mind?“ „I didn´t mean it, Sam. It just left my lips because I was getting angry...because the mark wanted me to hurt her...“ He started to sob while tears were rolling down his face. „God Sam....I love her but I really hurt her. Don´t know if she´s ever gonna talk to me again.“ „Oh boy...you really screwed up this time, Dean...“ Sam stood up and left the kitchen. „Y/N, are you awake? Can I talk to you for a second?“ „I´m really beat Sam, can we please talk tomorrow?“ Sam nodded. „Ok..we talk tomorrow. Sleep tight Y/N.“ „Yeah...whatever..“ `She didn´t even open the door..´Sam thought sadly. Maybe she was just disappointed of both of them and now she was crying...not wanting him to see her tears. He listened closely, one ear on her door. But there was no sound, so he figured that she must have gone to sleep already. He turned around and headed for his room. Y/N was still lying awake on her bed..sleep didn´t want to come. Her whole body was aching...as well as her heart. And that Sam wanted to talk in the middle of the night wasn´t really helping. She swung her legs out of the bed and grabbed the grocery bag again. She pulled out three little bottles that she got at the drugstore. Sleeping pills, Vicodin and Valium. Looking at the bottles made her feel kind of...well...excited and nervous. „You´re not going to take these pills, are you?“ Crowley suddenly appeared in front of her. She gave him a annoyed look. „Why not? I can´t sleep and my body hurts. This is what these pills are made for, right?“ „I guess..but you know that you´re not allowed to take such strong medicine after what you´ve went through, darling.“ Crowley took the pills from her. „We don´t want a relapse, do we? And by looking at your new hair colour, I´d say we´re close to a relapse.“ Y/N´s face turned red from anger. „What the hell? You too? Now you´re on their side as well?“ she shouted at him. „Normally, I´m not. But in this particular case, I´m afraid I have to agree with Moose and Squirrel.“ He looked worried. She stood up, took her clothes and went for her bathroom. „Fine...“ was all she said before locking the bathroom door behind her. Dean was still awake and sitting on a chair in the library, drinking his way through a bottle of Jack Daniels. With abscent mind, he rubbed over the mark on his arm. What should he do now? He hurt Y/N, in a really bad way. It was the worst thing he possibly could have said to her. Dean was lost in his thoughts when he suddenly heard the door of the bunker open and close. „Y/N? Is that you?“ He ran upstairs but there was nobody to be seen. „Hm...maybe I´m imagining things already..“ Dean turned around and continued with his bottle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here´s the 3rd Chapter - hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Leave comments and kudos if you want ;)


	4. Reckless

2 months later... Y/N took cover behind a tree. Dean and Sam didn´t know where she was or what she was doing. She went to this hunt all by herself not letting the brothers know about it. What happened a lot lately although she was still living in the bunker with Sam and Dean. It was a thing she needed to calm herself down after everything. The relationship between the three of them was still cold. So, hunting it is. There was a nest of vampires in a cabin in the woods. Just a quick check if she had everything she needed with her to get rid of the nest. Knife – check. Blood of a dead man – check. „Let´s go...“ she whispered to herself and left her cover. As she stood towards the door, she swung one of her legs and broke the door down. Inside, the vamps looked irritated at first, then angry, showing their teeth. „Hey guys – am I interrupting something?“ she smiled at them. „Hunter...“ one of the vampires grunted. „Yep – the last hunter you will ever see.“ The fangs attacked her, fighting with her. Y/N swung her knife, decapitating one by one. One caught her by surprise and bit down her neck, drawing blood. „Ouch – you sucker! Let go of me!“ The vamp laughed until she took his head of. It was the last one, the nest was gone. She sunk down to her knees, breathing heavily and holding her bleeding neck. „I think I´ll need a band aid...“ she laughed bitterly and left for the bunker. „Fuck Crowley – where the hell is she? You were supposed to keep an eye on her.“ Sam was furious. „What can I say Moose, she´s sneaky and clever.“ Crowley smiled. The brothers have told Crowley to look after her so she doesn´t do anything stupid. They kept arguing until they heard the bunker door open. Y/N came down the stairs, injured and all over her was blood. Dean ran towards her, hugging her tight. „My god, Y/N, where have you been? We´ve been worried.“ „Dean, let go of me. I told you no chick-flick moments. I was hunting and took out a nest of vamps. No biggie.“ „You went on a hunt all by yourself? Are you crazy?“ Sam yelled. Y/N freed herself of Dean. „You know Sam, since you two keep babysitting me and not letting me any space, I needed time for myself. And that´s why I go hunting alone at night for the past 2 months!“ Just as Sam and Dean wanted to say something, her cellphone started to ring. She pulled it out, took a look at the display and answered the call. „Yeah? Oh hey, yep – I can make it. See ya!“. Then she hung up. Dean smirked at her. „Who was that?“ „No one you know. I´m gonna take a shower.“ Dean grabbed her arm tight. „No! We´re not finished here!“ Y/N let out a groan. „Dean! Let go, you´re hurting me.“ His breathing became heavier. Without a warning, he grabbed her tight and pressed his lips onto hers. She fought him, at first...but then gave into the kiss, her hands grabbing his short hair and neck. He tasted like whiskey and mint. After what seems like an eternity, Dean broke the kiss...smiling at her. Crowley cleared his throat. „Well...look at that. Princess and squirrel making out in front of everybody.“ Dean gave him a deadly look. „Oh shut up Crowley. Why are you still here? Isn´t there a soul to torture?“ „Dean, charming as ever. Alright, see you“ Crowley said and disappeared. Y/N was still shocked – Dean just kissed her. He smiled at her. „I´m sorry Dean..but I..I can´t do this.“ She turned around and ran upstairs inside her room, locking the door. Sobbing with tears rolling down her face, she sunk down to her knees. Suddenly, she heard a loud knock on her door. „Y/N, open the door!“ When she didn´t react, the knocking turned into banging on the door. „Open the goddamn door! I´m serious. If you don´t open now, you will regret it!“ Dean was standing in front of Y/N´s door, banging against it with his fists. She didn´t react and that made him angry. He could feel the anger growing, the mark pulsating...telling him to show her to respect him. He started yelling. „Open.the.fucking.door.now!“ Sam came running upstairs. „Dean! What the hell are you doing?“ „Back off Sam! This here is none of your business!“ „It is – you´re scaring her.“ Dean growled at his brother. „Fuck off – now!“ Sam didn´t see the fist coming that hit him and knocked him out cold. Dean turned his attention back to the closed door and kicked it down. As Y/N saw him, she screamed in panic. „Dean! Please don´t!“ He smiled cold at her. „You´ve been a bad girl, you disobeyed me, hunted alone without telling Sammy and me and now I need to punish you. Oh, this is going to be so much fun.“ . There was an evil grin on his face as he locked the door from the inside and walked closer to her, gripping her tight with brutal strenght. He ripped off her clothes without hesitation as the mark was glowing angrily on his arm. „Dean! Please don´t do that to me!!“ Y/N cried as he shoved her down onto the bed. He slapped her across the face, causing her lip to split open and bleed. „Oh baby, I do whatever I want to you. Little black haired slut – driving me crazy with that new look and the tight clothes. You´re going to enjoy it as much as I will...“ ….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is - the dark chapter 4.  
> Hope you enjoy and as always, leave comments if you like ;)


	5. Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> this chapter could contain triggers for some people.

She was lying naked on her bed, crying and shaking. Her body was covered with bruises, scratches and bite marks. `Why did he do that to me??? That wasn´t Dean...he would never hurt me that way. It must have been the mark...` Her thoughts ran amok. „Cas...If you can hear me...I need your help..“ The angel has been disappeared for a few weeks now. No one knew where he was. Y/N´s prayers stayed unheard. Castiel wasn´t coming... She wiped off her tears, got off the bed and entered her bathroom to take a shower..she needed to clean herself.

Dean was sitting at the table in the library again..he tried to get drunk after what he did to Y/N, not knowing how he should live with the guilt. When he thought that he had done bad as a demon...it was nothing compared to what he did to her as a human. He didn´t notice Sam who entered the library. He had a black eye. „Dean...what happened?“ „I...I´m poison Sammy...a monster...I can´t control myself or the Mark..“ Sam sat down in front of his brother. „What did you do to Y/N?“ Dean couldn´t look Sam in the eyes...his hands covered his face as tears began to fall down. „Dean...talk to me!“ He looked up, eyes red and watery as he sobbed „I raped her Sammy....I raped her.....“

Y/N stood in front of the bathroom mirror, her eyes tracking down every injury that Dean left on her body. She always wanted to be touched and loved by him but definately not that way. Now she was feeling dead inside.Shaking her head, she left the bathroom and got dressed with a ripped skinny jeans and a band shirt. Wiping her thoughts off, she began to pack a few things. She didn´t notice the slight knock on her door and Sam who entered her room. „Y/N? Are you alright?“ She stood with her back to him and slightly flinched as she heard his voice. „Yeah, I´m fine Sam.“ she said, still not facing him. Y/N didn´t want to him to see her injuries, for him to see what his brother has done. „Dean told me what he did..I´m so sorry Y/N. I´m sorry I couldn´t protect or help you but Dean knocked me out.“ Sam started to cry. As she heard his sobs and how sorry he was, she turned around and pulled him in a tight hug. „It´s ok Sammy, you couldn´t have done anything to help me.“ She and Sam were holding each other tight, not wanting to let the other one go. When they finally let another go, he saw her bruises and flinched. „Oh god...Y/N...“ She shook her head. „No Sam, it´s ok. It´s not your fault.“ Then she turned around and continued with packing. „You...you´re leaving?“ She nodded. „Yeah, I have to. I need to get my mind clear and think about the future.“ „Are you coming back?“ She shrugged. „I don´t know...maybe..maybe not. But I keep in touch, I promise.I will miss you Sam. Please take care of Dean.“ Y/N kissed Sam on his cheek, grabbed her stuff and left the bunker, without looking back.

When Sam returned to the library, Dean was still sitting on the chair and it looked like he hadn´t moved. Only the bottle of Jack Daniels was replaced by a new one. „How is she?“ he asked his brother. Sam laid a hand on Dean´s shoulder. „She left Dean. And she doesn´t know if she comes back.“ Dean just nodded. „She´s right. She shouldn´t be anywhere near me...“ He took his glass and gulped the content down. „Dean...you should stop drinking. I think you´ve already had enough.“ Sam tried to grab the bottle, taking it away from his brother. But Dean was quick and held the bottle tight. „No! Maybe I should just drink myself to death, at least I wouldn´t be able to do any more harm to the people I love then.“ „That´s not a solution Dean. Besides...you know what happens if you die...if you kill yourself...while you still have the mark.“ Dean looked at his brother with a sad smile. „Yeah...but then I won´t be here..I would be far away or you could kill me for good.“

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Y/N arrived at a motel. She entered her new home, tossed her bag onto the ground and looked around. With a sigh, she sat down on the bed. Grabbing the bag, she took out a bottle of Jack Daniels and pills which she bought on her way here. She opened both, pulled out 3 pills which she swallowed with a huge swig of whiskey. The alcohol left a familiar burn in her throat. While waiting for the pills to kick in, she grabbed her mobile phone. She was about to call Sam but didn´t. It was too soon. Hearing his voice was the last thing she needed right now. What she needed was numbing silence in her head. Y/N laid down on the bed, closed her eyes and finally felt the welcoming effect of the pills....

 

The sunlight was too bright in Dean´s eyes as he woke up. He grunted and rolled on his stomach. „Bad idea...“ he thought. The nausea hit him surprisingly. He ran into the bathroom and threw up. When there was nothing left inside, he stood up with shaking legs, heading for the sink. Dean splashed ice cold water in his face and drank some a few handful of it to get the nasty taste out of his mouth. It has been a long time since he got that drunk. Normally, he couldn´t reach the state of being drunk anymore. But with the amount of alcohol he had last night, he finally managed to get really drunk again. His head was pounding angrily at him, sending sharp thunders of pain. „That´s right. I should suffer...“ he said to his reflection in the mirror. Dean´s eyes were bloodshot, his skin pale and sweaty, his hair a mess. He hadn´t shaved in three days. Leaving the bathroom, he grabbed another bottle of whiskey out of the nightstand and continued his self destructive mission. Sitting on his bed, he downed one glass after another. Thinking about that he should probably eat something – when was the last time he ate? - he poured himself another glass and gulped it down. Dean´s eyes were wandering around his room and stopped at his knife on the table. Standing up with shaky legs, he moved towards it and picked it up. The first cut on his arm made him flinch slightly. The second and third one wasn´t that bad anymore. Streams of blood were coming out of the cuts. He sighed relieved as he watched the blood dripping to the ground, leaving a puddle...


	6. Not letting you down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know in the comments if I should continue this story ;)  
> Thanks for reading :)

6 weeks later....  
The familiar scent of sulfur hit her without warning. She opened her eyes. Crowley was sitting next to her on the bed. „Hello darling“ he smiled at her. „What are you doing here? How did you find me?“ she said with a frown. „I always know where you are pet.“ She chuckled „You´re creepy Crowley. What are you – a stalker?“ „I like to think about myself more like your guardian demon“ he was grinning. Y/N burst into laughter. „What´s so funny Y/N?“ he asked irritated. „You´re so silly, my king“ she said, pronouncing the word king.  
„Did you take something except alcohol, darling?“ „Oh, just a few pills to relax.“ Smiling at him, she rested her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers. Then she drifted into sleep again, moaning slightly. 

It has been a few weeks and she still hasn´t called Sam. He began to worry about her. Was she alright? Talking to Dean was no option. Dean was too far gone at the moment. Constantly drunk, not leaving the bunker nor his room. There was nothing left that reminded of the famous hunter. His brother was just a shadow of himself. He was pale, lost a lot of weight, dark bags under his eyes which were also always bloodshot. It hurt Sam to see his big brother like this. Sam went to the kitchen to make some pancakes, hoping his brother would finally eat something. He took a plate full of the pancakes and went upstairs, knocking on Dean´s door. „Dean? Got some breakfast for you.“ His brother didn´t answer, so Sam entered his room. He was lying on his bed spread out, eyes closed. All around his bed were empty bottles of whiskey and vodka. Putting the plate on his brothers table, he saw that Dean had some fresh scars on his arms. Did he do this to himself? Sam shook his head. No, he wouldn´t do something like that. But...he hasn´t left the bunker or his room in weeks. So where else did he get the scars? There must be some other explanation for the wounds. Maybe he fell while he was drunk. Yeah, that must be it.  
„Dean? Can you hear me?“ His brother grunted and turned on the other side. „Dean!“ „What...?“ Dean mumbled. „Get up Dean, you need to eat something.“ His brother groaned. „mmmhh...not hungry...lemme sleep Sammy...“ Dean was obviously still drunk. Sam sighed and decided to left his brother alone until he was sober. And then they needed to talk....

Crowley looked at Y/N who was still resting her head on his shoulder, holding his hand. He felt...strange. There was something about her that he couldn´t explain to himself. There was an odd feeling he had for her. Crowley began to stroke her newly black hair gently, moving down to her face, continuing the caressing. He felt something warm and fuzzy inside his guts. „Y/N?“ he said softly. „Hm...what is it Crowley?“ She opened her eyes, looking up into his. „What happened? Why are you not at the bunker with the Winchesters?“  
Y/N´s eyes were suddenly filled with tears. „I...I couldn´t stay there...“ And then she told the King of hell what has happened back in the bunker 6 weeks ago....  
Crowley felt anger rising inside him, wanting to beat the living hell out of Dean. How could he hurt this precious human being like that? „I´ll make this son of a bitch suffer unimaginably...“ She wiped her tears away, taking his hands into hers. „No...don´t. Please. It wasn´t his fault. It was the mark that made him do that. If he had been himself, he would have never done that.“ „That´s no excuse for what he did.“ Y/N was still feeling fuzzy. The effects of the pills and the amount of alcohol she took every day were still there. She touched his face, stroking his cheek and kissed him softly.....

 

Dean awoke with an aching and dull pain in his head again. „Shit...“ he mumbled, rolling out of the bed. With shaky legs, he headed for the bathroom. He splashed ice cold water in his face, hoping it would make the pain in his head go away. When he saw himself in the mirror, he was startled. He quickly looked away, not wanting to see the person staring back at him. As he reentered his bedroom, he saw that there was no alcohol left. „Fuck...now I have to go downstairs to get some more..and I´ll have to face Sammy..“ he groaned but still went downstairs towards the kitchen.

Just as he anticipated, his brother was in the kitchen, eating some pancakes. „Mornin´ Sammy...“ he grunted as he reached for the bottles in the kitchen cabinet. Sam looked at him and sighed. „It´s 5 pm Dean. And I think you´re still drunk enough. You don´t need any more alcohol.“ he said as he took the bottle away from his older brother. „We need to talk, Dean.“ …


	7. Two times wrong doesn´t make it right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, the 7th chapter took a while. But here it is ;)  
> Thanks for reading and if you like it, I´d love some kudos ^^

„No, we don´t. There´s nothing to talk about.“ Dean said, taking a huge sip straight out of the bottle. „Have you looked at yourself recently? You look like shit, Dean. This can´t go on like that.“ Dean could feel the mark starting to burn angrily. „Sam...stop! You really should stop talking.“ He turned around, leaving the kitchen and headed towards his room. He didn´t want to hurt Sam as well. He needed to leave – now. Dean ran towards his room, hearing his brother shout his name. „Dean! Wait!“ But he was too fast. He reached his room and locked the door from the inside...Dean was pacing his room up and down. His head was spinning, the mark burning angry, screaming at him. Wanting him to hurt, to torture, to kill. „No..no...no...“ he kept mumbling. He was surprised, but in a good way. She was kissing him. A hunter was kissing the King of hell, a demon. And it felt just right, warming his insides. But all of a sudden, she pulled away. „sorry...Crowley...I can´t...“ „What is it love? You ok?“ he said softly. At first she thought he would be angry that she stopped so suddenly, but he wasn´t. He was caring. „It´s because of Dean, isn´t it?“ She looked up at him, shocked. „What are you talking about?“ Crowley laid one hand on her back. „You love him, am I right darling? Even after what he did to you, you still love him...“ Crowley sounded disappointed. Why the hell was he disappointed? „Yes...I do. I always did love him.“ she confessed. Dean couldn´t take it anymore. He needed to do something to get rid of the guilt and the lust to kill. Both together wasn´t a good combination. But what were his options? He thought the options through, back and forth and finally made his decision. He grabbed his duffelbag and threw a few clothes in it, as well as some weapons and a few bottles of alcohol. Then he left the bunker without Sam noticing it...just a short message for him left on the bed... She sat on her bed at the motel room, smoking a cigarette. Crowley just left without saying another word after her confession. Absent minded, she softly stroked the band sweater she was wearing. The one Dean gave her one day to keep her warm. It was a sweet, heartwarming memory. When Dean was still Dean...not a demon, not carrying the mark of cain. She took out her mobile phone, dialing Sam´s number and already made the decision to return home to the bunker. Dean arrived at the old farm house. He´s been here a while ago, never wanted to return here. But he made his choice. He needed help, he needed a guide. So where else to got than to the one person who had dealt with the same as he does. Dean opened the front door, already knowing that the man inside was expecting him. „Hello Dean. Nice seeing you again.“ „Hello Cain.“ Cain smiled at Dean. „Take a seat my son. I think we need to talk.“ Y/N stood at the front door of the bunker, taking a deep breath. With shaking hands, she opened it and headed towards the library, where she expected Sam to be. „Hi Sam.“ she smiled at him. His eyes brightened and he took her into a tight hug. „Hey Y/N, it´s so good to see you. I really missed you.“ She sight deeply with relief. He wasn´t mad at her. „I missed you too Sammy.“ She kissed his cheek, happy to be back home. „Where´s Dean? I think I need to talk to him.“ she asked and let go of Sam. His happy expression disappeared and a sad one came to his face. „He´s...he left a week ago.“ „What do you mean by he left?“ Sam sighed, pointing at a chair for you to sit down. „I think you deserve to know what happened in the time you were gone.“ And so he started to tell her...After Sam finished, she was crying, holding her head with both of her hands. „No...Sam...what are we gonna do? We can´t leave him all by himself. He needs our help.“ Sam shook his head. „I don´t think he wants our help. I already tried. Dean refused my help.“ Y/N got angry. „Of course he refused your help Sam! Dean is like a stubborn child when it comes to accepting the help of other people. You know that. It´s the way your dad raised him. But that doesn´t mean that he doesn´t want our help!“ She took a deep breath, getting off of the chair. „I´m gonna find him and I will help him. I already forgave him what he did to me, coz it wasn´t really him.“ She fumbled with her hair, grabbed her duffelbag from the floor and left for her room to unpack her bag. „You can help me find him if you want. But if you try to stop me...it won´t happen.“ … They sat across each other at the kitchen table, drinking a beer. No one has said a word since Dean arrived and Cain welcomed him. Cain was the first to break the silence. „It´s burning, isn´t it?“ he smiled. „Not just that...it´s talking to me...planting thoughts in my mind. And I don´t know what to do about it. How to keep it under control.“ Cain smirked. „Do you really wanna keep it under control? Or do you wanna give into it, be free?“ Dean shook his head angrily. „No! I...I don´t...fuck...I don´t know what I want. When I give into it, it feels...good. Satisfying. But I hurt the people I care about when I give in.“ „So?“ He looked at him curiously. „What do you mean?“ „What´s the problem Dean? They are weak. They are not free. But you my son, with the mark you can´t be stopped. It´s just the human side of you that feels this guilt when you give into the mark. You know that there was a time when you actually were free of guilty feelings.“ „That was when I was a monster...I don´t want to become that thing again....“ Cain laughed loudly. „But it´s the only way to be at peace with yourself and the mark again, Dean.“ Cain was right. The only time he was ever really free was when he was a demon, a knight of hell. And there was just one thing he could do to be that free again...


	8. You make me wanna die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update but the holidays have been crazy as well as work.   
> So, here is chapter 8, hope you enjoy.   
> I´d like to read your comments about it :)

He held the knife tight, hands shaking, face covered with sweat. „I can´t do this Cain...I can´t be that thing again.“ Cain nodded. „I know it´s not easy Dean, but it´s the only way. There may be another way but you really don´t wanna go there.“ Dean looked interested at him. „What other way?“ The father of murder smiled at Dean. „You need to stop fighting the mark, just give in to it. Let it get what it wants and you will be at peace with it.“ The oldest Winchester shook his head. „No! That´s...that can´t be happening...“

Y/N paced her room up and down, desperately trying to find a way to get the location of Dean. Where would he go? There was no one near that he knew. Crowley! He could find him. After all, he was the friggin King of hell. „Crowley, get your ass up here! I need your help.“ Y/N was calling to him. But instead of the King of hell, Castiel appeared in her room, looking at her with concern.   
„Y/N, why are you calling Crowley?“ Y/N couldn´t believe her eyes. „Cas? Where the fuck have you been?? I called to you so many times and you  
didn´t answer me once!“ „I know...and I´m sorry. But I couldn´t answer you. So...why are you calling to Crowley?“ She looked down on her feet, whispering. „I need him to help me find Dean...“ Castiel laid a hand on her shoulder. „Trust me...you really don´t want to find him right now.“ Y/N shook his hand off angrily. „What? How can you say something like that? He´s your friend and he needs our help Cas!“ He shook his head. „No Y/N, trust me. He doesn´t want our help and it´s not safe to look for him, for nobody. Dean is not himself anymore. We can´t help him, especially you.“

Castiel had left her a crying mess, laying on her bed, shaking. He couldn´t tell her everything he knew about Dean´s actual state of being. It would have killed her. Cas knew that she didn´t understand why he refused to help her look for Dean coz he didn´t explain it to her. But right now, he really needed to talk to Sam about his big brother and the situation he was in. He entered the library, finding Sam as expected sitting at the table, studying some books.   
„Hello Sam. I just talked to Y/N, she was trying to call Crowley to help her find Dean.“ Sam was worried...worried about his brother and about Y/N. He already tried to find him but didn´t succeed.

Dean woke up in a bed. He had no memory of how he´s gotten in bed neither what has happened before he fell asleep. Stretching his muscles, he got up, walking to the mirror in the room. What he saw was a shocker. He was covered in blood. Face, hands and clothes were deep red, the blood already dry. He didn´t recognize the person entering the room. „You´re awake my son. How do you feel?“ Cain asked. Dean turned around, anger rising in his chest. „Look at me! How do you think I feel?“ The father of murder smiled. „So still fighting it, are we? I told you, if you would just give into it, you would feel amazing right now.“   
Y/N was sitting on her bed. She has calmed herself down as good as possible and decided to change her sweaty clothes into a pair of well worn Jeans and a band shirt, letting her tattoos show. ´There must be some kind of spell to help Dean` she thought to herself. „The black bible!“ Why hasn´t she thought of it earlier? She locked her door, not wanting to be disturbed by Sam or Cas. Y/N opened her drawer and the secret box in it that no one knew about except her. She hated it to have secrets before the brothers but in this case it was a good thing. They would never have allowed her to keep the stuff that was in it. These books could do real damage if used no properly. So she had decided it was best for all if the brothers didn´t know about them. She didn´t wanna lie to them but neither wanted to lose these books therefore they could get helpful just like now. Y/N took the book she was looking for, the „black bible“, a very powerful collection of spells. With the book in her hands, she sat down on her bed, opening it. „Where is it...“ she mumbled to herself. „There! The spell of the Lords...okay, let´s see...“ She started reading the spell, trying to figure out what she would need for it. When she was finished, a smile spreaded across her face. „I got everything I need here. Blood, basil, lavender, bone dust of a supernatural creature, myrrh, holy oil. Alright...let´s get started...“   
As Y/N was preparing the spell, listening to her favourite music, she thought about what it would mean to Dean, to Sam and to her. It would be dangerous but she was ready to do it for Dean. Even if it means that she had to die to save him. She owed him and Sam her life and all that happened wasn´t   
Dean´s fault. It was because of the mark which he took to save the world once more. She needed to repay the favour. And she was willing to give her life for the brothers if this was necessary to save them. She couldn´t stand to see them suffer anymore, in pain and despair because of the curse Dean carried.The only thing she had to make sure was that both of them would never know what she did...  
„By the power of the Lords, take away the burden of him and place it onto me. Let me be the servant of the dark. Fac acceperit caracterem hauriens cremabit super me.“ As she finished the spell, a bright light of thunder came down and burnt into her arm. She was falling down on her knees, crying in pain as the mark burnt its way into her skin. Y/N collapsed on the floor, falling into unconsciousness... 


	9. My saviour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about ending the story here and make it part one of a series...or should I continue with chapters here? What do you think? Let me know in the comments :)  
> Well..here´s chapter 9, enjoy and as always, I´d like some comments or kudos if you want to make my day ^^

Dean woke up. When did he fell asleep? Just a few minutes ago, he was talking to Cain. And now he was lying on the floor with a pounding headache. He rubbed his arm where the mark was absent minded but stopped cold. Where was the mark of Cain??? It just disappeared. But how? He could remember the bright light and the pain in his arm before everything went black. What the hell just happened? He grabbed his cellphone, dialing Sam´s number. „Sam? It´s me, Dean. Uhm...I´m just curious, did you find something to remove the mark of Cain? No? Uh..ok. Well, how about I come back home and we talk about what happened the other day? Ok great, see ya soon.“ So Sam had nothing to do with the disappearence of the mark. That was strange...he had to find out what happened and why he was free of the curse. Dean grabbed his bag and headed for the Impala, making his way home to the bunker.   
As Sam disconnected the call, he wondered why his brother called him all of a sudden, asking about him finding a cure for the mark. „Cas?“ he called for the angel. „Yes, Sam? What is it?“ „Uhm...how´s Dean? He just called me and he sounded...different. And now he is on his way back here.“ Castiel concentrated on Dean as he suddenly started to smile. „He´s fine...Sam, your brother is cured, he no longer has the mark of Cain.“ Sam couldn´t believe what the angel just said. „Wait..what do you mean? How??“ Cas shook his head. „I don´t know Sam. All I can say is that the mark is gone. Dean´s back to normal. I´m sorry but I have to leave again. There´s something going on in heaven I have to take care of. Call me when Dean´s back.“ and with this, the angel disappeared again, leaving a speechless and irritated Sam behind.

Y/N woke up on the floor in front of her bed. As she opened her eyes, she didn´t know what happened...at first...but then the memory came back. She stood up quickly, sitting down on the bed, looking at her arm. Amongst her tattoos, not visible for anyone who had no idea where to look, there was the mark of Cain. It fit perfectly smooth into her sleeve tattoo as if it was meant to be there. „I did it...“ she whispered to herself. She closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the dizziness and then entered her bathroom, ready to take a shower. The hot water felt good on her skin, relaxing her muscles. After a long shower, Y/N dried and dressed herself up and took her still wet hair into a messy bun. Standing before the mirror, she looked at her reflection closely. She was paler that normal, dark bags under her eyes. But apart from that, she still was looking like herself. The others wouldn´t recognize her change. Besides, she couldn´t feel any effect of the mark at the moment. Everything felt...normal. When she came back into her bedroom she could hear Sam calling for her from the living room. She tried to get herself ready for facing Sam, trying not to let him recognize any change on her, as she headed for the living room.

After a 3 hour drive, Dean was finally back at the bunker. He stood before the main door, his heartbeat higher than normal, hands sweaty. What did he have to expect when facing Sam? Was he mad, was he angry? Would he even want to talk to him anymore after he left his brother like he did? And what about Y/N? Where and how was she after the incident and disappearance?  
Dean took a deep breath and opened the door to the bunker. „Sam?“ he called as he entered the main room. The bunker was quiet. Too quiet. Dean tried again calling for his brother. „Sam? Where are you?“ „I´m here Dean.“ He turned around and looked into his brothers face which showed concern and sadness. „You...you´re really cured Dean?“ Sam asked him, uncertain that it was really true. It was too good to be true. Nothing ever went the way they wanted it. Dean pulled his sleeve up to show Sam that the mark was gone for real. As soon as his brother saw it, he pulled Dean into a tight hug, not wanting to let him go. „God Dean...it´s amazing! It´s finally over, you´re back.“ Dean hugged his brother back, it has been too long since they two felt that close to be brothers.

Y/N was watching the whole brotherly love scene from a distance, trying not to be seen by Dean. Sure, she cured him without the brothers knowing that it was her and what she did to achieve that. But how was she supposed to face Dean after all that time and after what has happened? Then suddenly, she felt it. A slight burn on her arm where the mark was. It felt strange...powerful and angry. She laid her hand on the mark, rubbing it like she was trying to calm it. „I can´t face them right now...“ she whispered to herself, turning around and heading for her room again. Once inside, she locked her door. The talk she had with Sam earlier, before Dean returned, replayed in her mind. Shaking her head, she sat down on the chair at her table, opening the black bible again. Y/N wanted to find out more about her new companion, the mark of Cain and what it meant for her now. There were some new feelings... some emotions that weren´t there before the spell. Dark ones she didn´t know she could ever feel. Y/N wasn´t sure if she would ever be ready to face the brothers again in her new state of mind, afraid that she might hurt them in any way. Dean wasn´t poison anymore...she was...

„So...she´s come back...how is she Sam?“ Dean asked while downing his whiskey. „Well...she´s...I don´t know Dean. She was fine, willing to find you and to help us to get rid of the mark. But...“ Dean looked at Sam with concern. „But what?“ „I talked to her earlier, after you called to tell me what happened. She was different. Even before I told her about you.“ ´not quite getting what his brother meant, he said „...meaning?“ Sam´s face showed even more concern than before. „That´s the point Dean. I have no fucking idea...“

 


	10. The new life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I´ve decided to make this work part of a series, therefore I have so many ideas which I want to add to this story. I don´t want to split it into too many chapters so now it has become a series :)
> 
> And finally...here´s the smut, well a little ^^
> 
> As always comments and kudos are much appreciated to keep me rollin´ ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading and enjoy xo
> 
> And happy new year to all :D

The next morning came way too soon for Y/N. She turned off her alarm clock with a grunt. What happened last night? Last thing she remembered was reading the black bible again as she suddenly felt the power of the mark. Then everything was blurry in her memory. Looking at her arm closely, she could see the mark was still there in between her tattoos, slightly beginning to burn again. Deciding that a hot shower would be the best now, she got up and headed for the shower. Turning on the water, steam began to fill her bathroom. Y/N stepped inside the hot water stream to heat up a bit coz after all, she was kinda cold at the moment. After 20 minutes she turned the water off and put a towel around her, walking back into her bedroom. Standing before her closet, she decided to wear a low cut top and a pair of tight ripped jeans. As she was finished dressing, she looked at her reflection in the mirror, nodding to herself satisfied. „Time to talk to the boys“ she whispered, heading towards the kitchen.

Dean and Sam were sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee as well as some waffles in front of both of them. Y/N could hear them talk about what has happened in the time Dean was gone. „You think she will ever forgive me Sammy?“ she heard Dean ask his brother with concern in his voice. „I´m sure about that Dean, Y/N knows that it wasn´t you at all.“  
„Hey boys, what´s up?“ Y/N smiled at them as she entered the kitchen, causing both of the brothers to slightly flinch in surprise. „Y/N!! Oh my god, I missed you so much“ Dean said and pulled her into a tight hug. „I´m so, so sorry for everything...“. „It´s ok Dean, I forgive you.“ she answered as she hugged him back. She could feel the tension falling off of Dean. As he finally let her go, she pointed at the coffee cups. „Can I get a coffee too?“ „Of course!“ Dean hurried towards the coffee machine, pouring some of it in a new cup, handing it over to Y/N. „You really ok, Y/N?“ Sam asked her as he was watching her closely. „Yeah, of course. Why wouldn´t I?“ she winked at him with a cocky smile. „Uhm...Dean, can we talk in private?“ Dean smiled. „Of course.“ She drank her coffee in one and took Dean´s hand in hers. „Great, let´s go to my room then. See you later Sam.“ she smiled at Sam and left the kitchen with Dean. „Ok, I have to run the store anyways.“ he said more to himself.

When they reached her bedroom, Y/N locked the door from the inside. „Why are you locking the door?“ Dean asked her curiously. „Coz I don´t want Sammy to disturb us“ she purred in his ear as she began nuzzling at his neck. „Whoa, what are you doing Y/N?“ „Nothing...“ she giggled as her hands wandered to the front of his jeans, feeling the growing bulge. „I know you want me Dean...just as bad as I want you...“ she bit down in his earlobe, earning a moan of him as response. „...I...I do...but...“ „No buts babe, just enjoy..“ she whispered as she began to massage his growing errection through his jeans. „mmhh...Y/N...st..stop, please. I..I can´t..“ She looked at him angrily. „Why? You already fucked me once and didn´t care. So why don´t you want to fuck me again, sweetheart?“ she said as she bit in his bottom lip, drawing blood. „I can feel you´re hard for me already, so don´t fight it.“ Y/N chuckled as she shoved Dean onto her bed, ripping his shirt off. She straddled his legs and began to lick and bite his nipples. „Aahh...yes..fuck..“ Dean groaned, gripping her ass tight with both hands. „Fuck it!“ he growled as he spun her around and on her back, beginning to rip her clothes off as well as his own. Y/N grinned devilishly at him as she gripped his hard length, pumping it up and down. „Fuck me Dean, I want to feel you inside me!“ Dean obeyed and pushed himself into her wet pussy, thrusting hard and fast in and out of her, filling her up completely with no time for her to adjust to his size, earning groans of passion. It didn´t take them long before both were coming hard, climaxing while screaming each others names.  
She rolled him off of her and got up, heading for the bathroom. „Wait..what..? Where are you going?“ Dean was irritated. „I´m taking a shower. You can leave now, Dean“ she said smiling at him while she pointed at the door. Then she disappeared into the bathroom without another word...  
Dean got dressed, shaking his head as he left Y/N´s bedroom. „What in hell was that?“ he asked himself. „Maybe I need to talk to Sam about this...but I don´t want him to know what just happened between Y/N and me...Fuck...“ he sighed, not knowing what to do.

She stood in the bathroom, freshly showered and relaxed after the make-out session with Dean. The mark was satisfied and only a bit itchy at the moment.  
„Maybe I need to do this more often...“ she thought to herself. When re-entering her bedroom, she saw that Dean had left and smiled, getting dressed while grabbing her cellphone, texting a short message to someone the Winchesters didn´t know about. Just a few seconds later, she got an answer. „Meet me in 1 hour, the usual place.“ Putting her cell back into her jeans pocket, she grabbed her bag and sneaked towards the garage, to borrow a car for her meet up.

Dean was lying on his bed, listening to some music, as Sam walked in his room. „Dean! What´s that on your neck? Are these hickeys and bite marks??“ Sam asked his brother with a frown. Dean got up, heading to the mirror, blushing. „Uhm...yeah, I..I think so Sammy.“ Sam´s eyes grew wide. „Wait a minute...you´re not telling me that you just had Sex with Y/N, aren´t you?“ Dean couldn´t look Sam in the eyes as he answered. „Well...I have to say yes. But she wanted it, she practically forced me to sleep with her.“ Sam shook his head. „Jeez Dean...why can´t I believe you? You just show up here again after you disappeared for several weeks and now that you´re back, you tell me that you slept with Y/N...again..“ Dean gripped his brothers arm, looking deep into his eyes. „Please Sammy, you have to believe me. Somethings definately wrong with her. The way we...you know...it wasn´t like her, she was acting...kinda possessed.“ „You know that this is not possible. She has an anti-possession tattoo just like we do.“ Dean sat down on his bed, burying his face in his hands. „That´s not what I meant. I´m not talking demon possessed-possessed. More like under a spell or something. Sam, we have to figure it out...and fast. You´re with me here?“ His brother sat down besides him, squeezing his shoulder. „Well...I´m still not sure about this, but I´m with you. As long as you promise me, that we try to find out in secret what might be wrong. Without her recognizing us sniffing around. Deal?“ Dean smiled relieved. „Deal!“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was the first part of the series.   
> I´d like to know if you have something in mind how you would like the story to continue. I already have the story in mind but also would like to read what you guys would like ;)


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